One time I opened a friend’s cabinet looking for a glass and accidentally found a stash of … essential oils and tax records and one very unexpected letter from a chiropractor. It doesn’t matter really. Just the sort of things that weren’t my business. I slammed the door and pretended I saw nothing, but the guilt is still in my brain. I mean, I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I was desperate for a glass for water. It was uncomfortable.
In someone else’s house, it feels like you’ve entered a private museum (but you know how to behave in museums, right?) where nothing is out of the ordinary, but the rules there are not always clear. There’s unspoken stuff, quirky domestic things, that don’t-sit-there chair… it’s a minefield.
So if some of this has left you, again and again, six grand short of another million, sweating, like a wallflower cactus, in someone’s hallway, paralyzed with indecision about whether you’re supposed to take your shoes off or by doing so, here are some survival tips.
medicine cabinet – Things not to touch in someone’s home
source: Andrey Zhuravlev/Getty Images
1. Personal Belongings (aka Don’t Start Opening Drawers)
This should be obvious. Should. But you’d be surprised how many people think being a “close friend” grants them drawer access. It doesn’t. I don’t care if you’ve known them since kindergarten—do not go poking around in their stuff.
I had a cousin who once opened a host’s bathroom drawer looking for cotton swabs and found an entire folder labeled “PRENUP.” She told me about it. I told her to never speak of it again. Moral: if it doesn’t belong to you, don’t touch it. Period.
2. The Medicine Cabinet Is a Trap
Unless they’ve handed you a bottle of ibuprofen or invited you to “grab whatever you need,” leave it alone. I really think that the medicine cabinet is a big no. it’s too private. What medicine they take, it’s just too personal.
There’s always a chance you’ll open it, and five allergy pill bottles will come crashing down into the sink. Or worse—you’ll learn way too much about their digestion. Either way, don’t do it. Just ask. Rule n1 – always ask for medicine if you need it. Don’t open the cabinet yourself.
3. Valuables, Collectibles, and That Weird Little Figurine
I don’t know what it is about other people’s shelves, but they always make me want to pick stuff up. That weird ceramic bird? I want to hold it. That tiny framed photo? I want to look closer. But I’ve learned—the hard way—that touching = danger.
One time I picked up a snow globe in someone’s office and apparently it was a gift from their late aunt. I didn’t drop it, but I got The Look. You know the one. Admire from a safe distance and keep your hands in your pockets like you’re touring a royal palace.
4. Electronics and Fancy Gadgets
Unless they’ve handed you the remote or told you to “just tap the screen and it’ll turn on,” don’t touch their electronics. I absolutely 100% hate it when someone touches my electronics without my permission in my own home. Especially if it’s a smart home. You’ll accidentally turn the lights purple or cue up their toddler’s playlist during dinner.
Also, never assume you know how to use their TV. I once tried to “help” by turning one on and ended up locking it into HDMI Purgatory. Took 40 minutes and three people to fix. So, no, it’s obvious that you should ask the owners if you don’t want to ruin their electronics by accident.
5. Don’t Just Open the Fridge
Even if you’ve been staying with them for two days. Even if they said “make yourself at home.” The fridge is sacred territory. Unless you’re specifically told to help yourself, don’t start snooping around their shelves.
Bonus: if you spill something? Clean it like your future depends on it. Because it does. Your invitation to ever come back probably hinges on how you handle that orange juice splash.
bedroom
source: CreativaStudio/iStock
6. Bedrooms = Off Limits
This one’s simple: don’t go into bedrooms. Doesn’t matter if the door’s cracked open or you think it’s where the bathroom might be. Ask. Always ask. Bedrooms are like the soul of the home—they contain laundry piles, emotional energy, and probably at least one charging phone no one wants you to see.
Stick to the living room. And if you get lost looking for the bathroom, just ask. It’s way less weird than barging into a room full of unfolded socks.
7. Pets: Cute, Yes — Yours to Pet? Maybe Not
You see a fluffy dog. Your heart melts. You reach out to pet them. Stop. Ask first. Some pets are rescues. Some are nervous. Others are, quite frankly, divas. My friend wanted to pet a dog, which turned out was a service dog. We were in the supermarket. The owner got nervous and upset, the puppy too. It was awkward. And I made sure to remember that we never should touch someone else’s dog without their permission. I know they are cute!!! But we just can’t.
My aunt’s cat will let you pet her for two seconds and then slice your finger open like it’s a salmon fillet. She looks like a cloud. She is not safe. Always ask.
8. Please Don’t Touch the Art
You don’t know what’s handmade, sentimental, or possibly cursed. Just keep your hands off the wall art. Compliment it? Absolutely. Touch it? No. I once watched someone adjust a picture frame at a dinner party, and it fell—onto the buffet table. Three shrimp skewers died that day.
Look, being a guest isn’t hard, but it does require some chill. Respect the space. Assume nothing is communal unless someone says it is. Compliment the throw pillows, laugh at the family photos, and for the love of all things warm and unbroken—keep your hands to yourself.
And if you do mess up and touch something you shouldn’t? Apologize. Seriously, say you’re sorry, because it’s personal and private. Maybe even bring cookies next time as an apology, haha. That usually smooths things over.
